Last week I posted a picture on facebook after a particularly ass kicking workout. For the hours that followed I was bombarded with messages from peeps wanting to know my stats. My weight, how many calories I eat a day, what my macros are, etc. I know bikini season is a rough time for many and can trigger insecurities and body shaming. It’s like we’re fucked no matter what right? We go from suffering Seasonal Affective Disorder in the winter time, to freaking about bikinis in the summer time. I want to take this opportunity to share with you not only my reply to all those facebook messages, but also the lifestyle that I follow that allows me to make peace with my body, so you too, can achieve the same.
My respond to the messages about my stats:
I’ll tell you this….
I don’t fucking know.
Once upon a time I would’ve pulled out my phone and been able to answer all of those questions in a heartbeat.
Once upon a time I kept track of EVERY.SINGLE. morsel that went into my body.
Once upon a time I’d workout for 3 hours a day.
You know what happened to me? I became food obsessed. I became a binge eater. If I didn’t work off every bite I ate I’d hate myself. If I went over my calories I’d hate myself.
Because I wasn’t eating enough to support my crazed fitness regimen I felt like shit. My adrenals became fatigued and I got injured. A lot. Even injured I would still push through the pain because I was obsessed with looking a certain way.
Because of my obsession with diet and fitness to the extreme, I have injuries that never healed right and adrenal glands that need a lot of support.
Counting calories and knowing your macros are an important part of a fitness/weight loss journey or if you’re striving for a specific goal but only if your intentions are set in the right mindframe. If you’re doing all this because you have the mentality of , “I’ll be happy when…when I lose 20 pounds, when I’m a size zero, etc.” then it MAY be a bumpy ride full of self-doubt and guilt. At least it was for me. I was never happy. Even when I achieved every single goal of mine.
Plainly put….I don’t diet, count calories, macros, weigh myself or things like that for the same reasons I don’t keep pills in my house….because it triggers old obsessive, dangerous habits.
Why put myself in that position?
I workout every day because I love how STRONG I feel, not because I’m trying to lose weight. I workout every day because the endorphins put me in a great freaking mood which my whole family benefits from.
I eat healthy, clean and paleo every day not because I’m on a diet but because it’s my LIFESTYLE. Eating this way fights disease and boosts my immune system. Eating this way gives me clear skin, abundance energy, and keeps me from being dependent on medications.
Over time through learning and applying, I’ve developed my intuitive eating muscles and even if I wanted to, I don’t need to track anything.
So how do I keep my weight in check?
If my clothes fit, then I’m good. If they start to feel too tight, then I cut back on chocolate, sit less, or limit my starches after 3pm.
I don’t know how much I weigh or how many calories I eat.
But what I do know is that I feel strong, love the way I look, and I completely and entirely love and accept myself.
Now for the in-depth details and structure, this article that I wrote exactly a year ago will you show you how following the 80/20 rule will help you break those dieting chains and finally embrace your body instead of fighting it. Read it here Make peace with your body by following the 80/20 rule