When that clock strikes 12, most people set resolutions and vows that this year will be the year they fix their marriage, lose weight, launch a business, write a book, see the world, and so on. You start off strong, full of excitement and hope. The adrenaline and desire fuels you for a while. You’re highly motivated and committed….for 8 weeks. And then you slowlyyyyyy start to teeter out. Maybe life gets in the way. Maybe you need to take an extra shift at work, or your babysitter can’t make it.
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Then your old limiting beliefs start to surface. You start to tell yourself you’ve done enough. This isn’t for you. You just couldn’t do it. There’s too much pressure. It’s too much work.
A few weeks later you’re right back where you started, the momentum and desire from the New Year now gone.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a resolution that you’ve made, a goal that you’ve set, a promise that you said…there is one critically important factor and the gateway key to achieving all that you want to be, do and have.
The YOU factor.
In order for things to get better, YOU have to become better first. When you become better the rest will follow.
No matter what it is that you want to change, or achieve, you’ll never obtain lasting change until YOU change. Once YOU improve, your lifestyle will rise up to your level and everything else around you will get better.
For example, let’s say you’re in a shitty marriage, so you leave it. Later on you remarry. And the same problematic issues start to arise. Why? It’s the you factor. You left your old marriage but took yourself with you. Your same habits, patterns and behaviors are going to create the same circumstances over, and over, and over again. These patterns will keep you stuck in the life you are in.
The most important thing you can do right now to catapult yourself into the life you’ve always wanted….is to acknowledge and fully embed into your psyche that in order for you to be, do and have all that you desire, YOU need to get better.
Whatever your “it” may be, whatever it is that you’re trying to change, will continue to elude you until you work on yourself. When you work on you, your “it” will rise up to the level of your new self.
Jim Rohn said it best…
Forget quick fixes, and temporary solutions. Start your journey to becoming the person you need to be in order to achieve it all. If you want more out of this limited and precious time on earth, then self-development is your yellow brick road.
Action Step: Break out your journal
“Before you can have, you must do. And before you can do, you must become.”
You have to get in the head of the person you’re going to become. This person has all that you want and desire. They’re living your dream life. Learn from them, and write it all down. When you write it down it provides you with a plan on what you need to do, or learn, to become this exact person.
Make a list of who you need to become to achieve that which you want. What attributes, skills, qualities and habits do you need? Write it all down. Then work on developing those characteristics.
-Write down all that you want to be, do , and have.
-Then break it down.
1. This person that you will become…what is it they did to get there?
- Did they increase their level of intelligence by going back to school?
- Did they find a support group made up of like-minded individuals?
- Did they let go of toxic relationships?
- Did they take an eCourse that guided them in transforming their life?
- Did they hire a coach? A therapist? A counselor?
2. Our daily habits and rituals make up our life. They either set us up for success or tragic failure. This person that you will become…what are their daily habits?
- What does a typical morning look like for them?
- What morning routine do they follow?
- What kind of meals do they eat?
- What books do they read?
- What exercises do they perform?
- How much tv do they watch?
- How much time do they spend on social media?
- What are their hobbies?
- How do they destress and unwind?
- What’s their evening routine look like?
- What time do they go to bed?
3.Our behaviors, how we treat others, who we surround ourselves with, the thoughts we allow into our heads all contribute to the quality of life we have. This person that you will become…what commitments, disciplines, or behaviors did they expand?
- Do they call their parents frequently?
- Spend more time in nature?
- Recognize the achievements of others?
- Say “no’’ to anything that makes them feel crappy or contract inside?
- Are 5 minutes early to appointments?
- Utilize their commute time and listen to audio tapes that help them grow and integrate?
- Who are their role models? Their mentors?
- What blogs do they read?
- What kind of magazines do they subscribe to?
4. This person that you will become…what shitty habits and behaviors did they STOP doing?
- Did they stop watching hours of tv each day?
- Did they stop skipping breakfast?
- Did they stop comparing their bodies, or self-image with others?
- Did they stop comparing the beginning of their journey with someone else’s middle?
- Did they stop flaking out on commitments?
- Did they stop arriving late everywhere?
- Did they stop gossiping?
- Did they stop bitchin’ and complaining about the world around them?
- Did they stop spreading negativity via social media, emails, blogs, or daily interactions?
- Did they stop focusing and wasting energy on that which they had no control over?
- Did they stop saying “yes” to everything even though it conflicts with what they really want?
- Did they stop living in the past?
- Did they stop giving themselves anxiety over the future?
These are just four areas to get you started. Go as deep into the psyche of the person you will become as you can. The more detailed the better. When you complete this exercise you’ll know EXACTLY what you need to do and learn in order to be, do and have all that you want.
Pretty cool huh?
But it won’t work unless you do the work. Unless you take the time to figure it out. You may want to do it, but not follow through. intention without action is crap.
Don’t be crap.
Be the person you want to become.
In the comments below, list just three traits (more if you’d like) that the person you’re trying to become posses.